Welcome to the final of The
Eurovision That Never Was 2016!
Thanks to everyone who’s taking part! Get listening, and be sure to
read the information about voting and the bios before you vote.
Here are this year’s entries…
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01 France 1977 – À toi (Joe Dassin)
02 Turkey 1997 – Araba (Mustafa Sandal)
03 Iceland 1995 – Rangur
maður (Sólstrandargæjarnir)
04 The Netherlands 2015 – Something
Beautiful (Sharon Doorson)
05 Cyprus 1999 – Tora mou milaei (Stella Georgiadou)
06 Germany 2008 – Layla (Milk and Honey)
07 France 1968 – Je n’aurai pas le temps (Michel Fugain)
08 Belgium 2006 – Jaleo (Get Ready!)
09 Turkey 2013 – Bring Me Back (Atiye)
10 Monaco 1973 – L’amour
est toujours en vacances (Patricia Lavila)
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…thanks to random.org! And here's the link to download them...
Hopefully that
should work!
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Voting
1. You must vote. If you don't, you’ll be
disqualified – and given the numbers, we don’t want that :P You'll also be
disqualified if you let anyone know what your entry is prior to the sponsor revelations.
2. Voting is also open to non-participants.
3. Voting is Melodifestivalen style: 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 and 12 points. You can't
vote for your own entry.
4. The email address for your votes is the same as per submissions: etnw2016@gmail.com. Please make your email subject line “Name’s votes”. Using your
name, obviously ;)
5. The deadline for voting is next Sunday 31 January.
6. Remember that you’re not simply voting for your favourites: you should reward good matches. (Go back and read
the earlier posts if you’re still not sure how to go about it.) Of course, if
you think all the entries are perfectly authentic, you can rank them according
to taste.
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Bios
01 France 1977
– À toi
Born in the USA but based
throughout his musical career in France, Joe Dessin not only sang himself but
also wrote songs for the likes of France Gall. And for himself: this one has
everything a French entry of the ’70s should have, and would have made a great,
nay classic French winner.
02 Turkey 1997 – Araba
Mustafa Sandal
competed as a composer in the Turkish NF in 1995 and came dead last, but he
shouldn’t have given up on ESC that easily – in 1996 he released the album from
which this song is taken. It would have fitted well with the modern pop
approach Turkey was flirting with in Eurovision in 1997.
03 Iceland 1995 – Rangur maður
In 1995 RÚV decided to ask Björgvin Halldórsson to
write and perform a song. However, when he brought forward Núna as his entry,
Heimir Steinsson, chief of RÚV, rolled his eyes and said: “Not another sleeping
pill! Dear God, let’s just have a national final even though we can’t afford it;
we’ll just serve fermented shark for dinner for the rest of the year!” So RÚV
rejected the horridness from Bo Hall and launched preparations for a national
final with the slogan: “LET’S HAVE FUN!”
In the east,
a young high schooler woke up completely hungover from a Wednesday bender
and turned on the radio. Through the splintering headache he heard the ad at
the same time as he eyed the song he'd written the night before after swallowing
a bottle of black death, lamenting the fact that he’d never be as fabulous as
Sigga in Stjórnin. Which was the aftermath of failing both math and English as
well and having his ass handed to him for sloppy attendance.
In the end he
made it to the final with his song and the whole nation, still bitter over Þá
veistu svarið’s results and longing for the glory days of Stjórnin, drank a
bottle of black death and demanded that Rangur maður compete on behalf of
Iceland. Heimir Steinsson, while muttering to himself: “Fucking Bo!”, relented
and picked Rangur maður with Sólstrandargæjarnir as Iceland's ESC song for
1995.
The rest is
history.
04 The Netherlands 2015 – Something Beautiful
The Dutch have managed to get a lot of famous female singers to represent
them in recent years. Sharon Doorson is quite well-known in the Netherlands and
is frequently rumoured as a potential entrant, having said she would consider
it if asked. She has recently changed her music style from dance to more
pop/R&B.
05 Cyprus 1999 – Tora mou milaei
Stella was rumoured to represent Cyprus almost every year in the late ’90s
and early ’00s. This entry represents CyBC’s more uptempo approach a la 1997
and 1999. It also contains ethnic elements, like many Cypriot entries of the
time; is in Greek, since CyBC didn’t allow songs in any other language; and has
great fanwank potential, like every other entry from the country at the time.
06 Germany 2008 – Layla
2008 was a
low point for Germany in ESC. This too probably would have been a horror live,
sadly, though it fits with the mid-’00s ethno trend, if missing the boat
slightly (see also: NL 08), and clocks in at a wee caterpillar’s whisker over
the three-minute line. The band name sounds like it was chosen
specifically for Eurovision given its record of success.
07 France 1968 – Je n’aurai pas le temps
Composer
and singer Michel Fugain won the ‘Palmares des Chansons’ variety show with this
song, which went on to be a hit in the French charts and in English versions
recorded by John Rowles and Gene Pitney. Fugain's talents would have made
him an excellent choice to represent France a few months after this song won
the hearts of French TV viewers.
08 Belgium 2006 – Jaleo
Eurovision went to the Mediterranean in 2006, so Belgium needed a
summery song – not something Swedish. The boyband Get Ready! had been massively
popular in the early ’00s and returned that year with a pop track which had ESC
written all over it really.
09 Turkey 2013 – Bring Me Back
Set to be
released in the first half of 2012, this song came to the attention of the
Eurovision delegation from TRT just too late for their internal selection for Baku,
but just in time for them to make an offer to Germany-based singer Atiye to
keep a lid on it for another six months until it could be officially unveiled
as the Turkish entry for ESC13 in Malmö.
10 Monaco 1973 – L’amour est toujours en vacances
Monaco were far more inclined to enter happy up-tempo numbers than their
neighbours during this era, and tended to poach French singers (this one being
married to Luxembourg 70 and a later participant in the French NF herself).
This song would have looked and sounded fab in the campfest that was Eurovision
73!
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Good luck to all the sponsors! Small though the field is, I hope you enjoy this
year’s contest.
